Wedding Etiquette

Wedding Etiquette: The Basics

People these days are thinking, does Wedding Etiquette still exist in our age wherein every rule that anybody can think of could be bent? In this rule defying age, it seems that Wedding Etiquette is just a thing of the past. But is Wedding Etiquette really now just part of history? I don't think so. And maybe even you and the rest of the population don't think so, too.

Every culture has Wedding Etiquette. Even if we think those who live in far flung areas are barbaric and do not know a thing about Wedding Etiquette, they have their own sets of rules and etiquette to follow. Their Wedding Etiquette may not be as proper as we think ours is, but for them their Wedding Etiquette is the proper Wedding Etiquette.

The Wedding Etiquette that we have come to know dates back from the 1800, at the time of the Victorians. Victorians are well educated, intelligent and well mannered. They value social manners and behavior. This is the reason why lots of social and Wedding Etiquette books had been published during the Victorian era.

The social and Wedding Etiquette practices of the Victorians has been passed on to us and became the basic Wedding Etiquette of the westerners. These Victorian Wedding Etiquette has been modified or bent to suit our current culture and lifestyle.

What are the basics of Wedding Etiquette? Should we follow every rule in Emily Post's famous Wedding Etiquette book?

Wedding Etiquette Basics
In every all aspect of the wedding there is a Wedding Etiquette that should be followed. There's a Wedding Etiquette to follow when creating an invitation, sending it out, and replying to it; in attending a wedding, guests should abide to the basic Wedding Etiquette for guests; when sending out gifts there's a Wedding Etiquette too that must be followed.

Here are some of basic Wedding Etiquette for the wedding parties and the guests:

For the bride and groom:

  • Wedding invitation must be worded either formal or informal. It depends upon the couple. If they want a formal wedding celebration, they must choose formal words. If the wedding will be celebrated with closest family and friends, an informal wording on the invitation would do.


  • Invitation should be sent out four to six weeks before the wedding. If your wedding is a wedding destination, you may send a Save a Date card to your guests six to eight months before the wedding. Your guest also need to prepare themselves financially and physically for your wedding destination.


  • A bride can now choose any dress design and color that she wants. But if she will be wed in a church with strict rules on dress code, she should abide to the rules of her church.


  • A groom may wear either a suit or black tie. He could also wear a loose dress in beige pants for a beach wedding.


  • The couples should not ask for cash gifts. As for wedding registry card, they should not insert it invitation. Just mention in your invitation that you have an online wedding registry. 


  • The stepmother may seat at the church's first pew only if the bride (if the bride is her stepdaughter) is closer to her than her mother. However, if the bride is close to both her mother and stepmother, she should seat her mother at the first pew.

For the guests:

  • Invited guests should reply to a wedding invitation immediately after receipt of the invitation card or not later than two weeks before the wedding. Couples need to be informed of the actual head count for the sit down dinner.


  • Guests should be formally dressed if the invitation is worded formally even if there is no indication that the attire should be formal. Women are now allowed to wear evening dress for a formal wedding especially if their escorts are in black tie. 


  • Guests are not obliged to buy gifts from the registry. Invited guests who can't make it to the wedding are also not obliged to send gifts.

Gifts may be sent to the couple before or one year after the wedding. It will help the newlywed alot if the gifts will be delivered at the couples new address.

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